Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
