So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
