you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
