No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
