piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
