So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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