a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize