we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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