A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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