a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
