He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
