how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
