he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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