My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
