Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
