There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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