What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Liz is crying about burritos again.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
