i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
