the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
