No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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