bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize