Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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