wanna go halves on a baby?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
