..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
