your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
