didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
