The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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