I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My pussy is not your playground.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
