Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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