why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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