I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
