I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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