question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
