oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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