all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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