My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
