You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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