Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
