I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
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MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
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Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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