It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
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i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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