That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
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I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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