barbara walters just said penis...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
