The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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