what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
