Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
