it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
