May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
