Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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