i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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