I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
