im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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