I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
