Do vagina's smell?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
