maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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