We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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