Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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