i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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