If that was your dad, he is hot
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
