your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm really into asian looking animals
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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