love makes seman taste better
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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