We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
