i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
