I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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