i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he puts the penis in happiness.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
