My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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