What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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