I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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