Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I would ride that face into the sunset
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
