using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Randomize
