What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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