Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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